3/7: On the radio, a woman says whenever she takes a shower, she feels something like fingers pressing on her "tush" (her word). The problem? She and her dog are the only ones who live there. And she said this happens a lot. She doesn't know whether to be offended or terrified, and is maybe a little of both.
3/8: I have to explain to the babysitter: "I don't usually wear this much eye makeup."
3/9: We are sick and disgusting all day, camped out on the futon while it snows outside.
3/10: I consider how wonderful appetite is.
3/11: Our yard stays covered in snow longer than anyone else's. It's melted on both sides of us already, but G. can still sled in our front yard.
3/12: In the post office, there's this display behind the counter: three poinsettias, an American flag, and a stuffed Mickey Mouse. The man in line behind me smells like beer.
3/13: The crocuses opened. It must be spring.
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3/7 - I work all day on homework and somehow I manage to finish only a quarter of it.
ReplyDelete3/8 - The house smells like hard-boiled eggs.
3/9 - "Come as strangers; leave as friends."
3/10 - I had 200 pages of reading to do in one night and I managed to get 180 of them done. I'm not sure what happened to the last 20. Apparently, I hit some sort of reading-wall.
3/11 - The vaccum cleaner spits crap back at me as I try to vaccum our floor. Now, there is more dirt on the carpet than before and no vaccum cleaner to pick it up. Maybe a broom will work.
3/12 - The only items found inside their 'fridge are a case of busch light, pickles, bread, ketchup and a box of leftover pizza.
3/13 - The sun is deceiving. I walk out the front door and tears form in my eyes as bitter cold air hits them mercilessly.
3/7
ReplyDeleteMy limbs twitch uncontrollably if they are not weighted down by an adequate amount of blankets.
3/8
The pill I take everyday can and may kill me in so many different ways, yet I take it blindly every morning, smiling at the knowledge of what it won't allow my body to do...odd
3/9
I absolutely hate the British dialect, and British humor.
3/10
My roommate's girlfriend offered to show me her "disgusting super long armpit hair" while I was eating pancakes for breakfast. She was offended and left the room when I said no.
3/11
There's nothing like flying stunt kites in the first warm breeze of Spring
3/12
Writing emotional material is very taxing on the body. 5 hours later, my neck can finally relax knowing those 10 depressing pages are out of the way.
3/13
Last class of my college career. I feel ecstatic, but also very sad, college was absolutely amazing. Now I have to be real, what is real??
Week 10
ReplyDelete03/07: Sitting on a metal bleacher for six hours is an unreasonable thing to expect a person to do.
03/08: My daughter comments that she loves Robert Frost and thinks that his poem "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" is “really pretty.” I don’t know how she knows this.
03/09: The guy working at Home Depot looks at me oddly when I learn that they can cut blinds for free. Perhaps it’s not as exciting as I had thought.
03/10: I watch as a little girl (about two years old) contemplates the swimming pool. She scurries back and forth along the edge, wanting (while at the same time not wanting) to jump in.
03/11: In the home, there is a music room that contains a grand piano, a guitar, and a mandolin. Covering the window is a dirty white sheet held up with a string and clothes pins.
03:12: When I place my hand underneath the vent of the laptop computer I feel little tiny shocks on my fingers. They don’t hurt, but feel tingly.
03:13: Prior to today, I didn’t notice that when February has a Friday the 13th, March does too (except if it’s a leap year). That, in itself, is rather unlucky.
3/7/09 – “No, I don’t need any help. I’m legally blind,” the woman informed the clerk as she resumed selecting eye shadows and lipstick.
ReplyDelete3/8/09 – The little girl stripped all the roses bushes of their petals and shoved them into her sticky mouth.
3/9/09 – With a bucket of nickels in hand, the two boys raided the pop machines, the metal gurgling as each coin slid down the throat of the change accepter.
3/10/09 – She didn’t want five children and a car; she wanted a hedgehog.
3/11/09 – She had gone to a different college every quarter, lived in a different town and a different apartment each time and never meeting anyone of interest.
3/12/09 –The floors in her boyfriend’s parents house was still adorned with bright bubble gum pink shag carpet that was matted speckled with a whole rainbow of twenty years of sloppy children.
3/13/09 – Her hands shook in the freezing cold as she attempted to type without turning on the heaters.
Everytine wants a one, dub clean work resists volitional.
ReplyDeleteThere are many things that are not necessary, but they are customary. Both feel about the same. A telling synonym for habit.
How about I only do things I want to remember myself doing.
Saw a dude surfing wikipedia. First John Locke. Then Huldrych Zwingli. Then back to Locke.
The children's museum is empty and available for lease. How sad.
Sunshine? This is funshine! Yaaaaay! Right off a cliff.
The five blank pages of Brother John Clynn.
3-7 The vending machine took my quarters and wouldn't give me my drink. Press button to release quarters, repeat. This time it only gave me back four of five quarters. I bent over and saw a five dollar bill under the machine. Sweet! What do I do? Put five dollar bill ino the machine. It doesn't give it back at all.
ReplyDelete3-8 I don't go to movie theaters that much anymore. When I do I buy a kid's meal. People laugh as if it's outrageous for a full grown woman to do such a thing, but it's the cheapest and comes with one of everything, popcorn, drink, and candy.
3-9 All oral surgeons are in a covert cult dedicated to eradicating wisdom teeth because we don't need wisdom anymore it's prehistoric.
3-10 I am ruled by moods
3-11 After a while, all you want to see is a friendly face.
3-12 my new roomate has a very interesting desk. Fish oil, origami, handmade jewlrey, every kind of conceivable lotion and vitamin- she looks like she should be a pharmacist
3-13 It had to end but it's hard not to blame yourself when the reaction wasn't what you wanted it to be. Maybe I didn't want it to end after all.
3/7- I am tempted to go shopping when I think of how frustrating the day has been, but I pay bills instead. Being responsible isn't a new pair of heels.
ReplyDelete3/8- The coffee was too strong and the house was too cold but some how it felt perfect
3/9- "How did you get over me so fast, get get over you I can't", reggae songs by girls still have the same lyrics as....well any other girly song
3/10- a show of exhibitionists and society freaks, another drink is necessary when the first act takes off her shirt and I still can't quite tell which sex she/he is
3/11- I smell deceit and then take another whiff.
3/12- older people(like in their 90's) know more about the world than I could ever hope and yet they don't act like it, something to aspire to.
3/13- the smell of fajitas,a nausea far from food, a burn for distance that sizzles hotter than the cravings.
I've been doing these in a Word File and forgetting to post them, so here's three weeks of backlogged observations. I did miss a week or two in the middle of the class though.
ReplyDelete2/22: It’s cold today, too goddamn cold. Winter should end on January 31st.
2/23: My roommate decided he wouldn’t wear clothes today. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he was at least somewhat attractive. Instead I just saw way too much red hair.
2/24: I didn’t sleep last night, just stayed up all night, laying in bed. Watched the sun rise, or what I could see of it through the clouds. It’s beautiful, but not worth getting up that early.
2/25: I’m tired of the cold and the wet. In six months, I’ll be tired of the burning heat and long days.
2/26: I wish I could see shapes in clouds.
2/27: The girl working the front desk at my gym never stops smiling. I wonder if she’s always been smiling.
2/28: John Gardner’s Grendel wasn’t as great as I’d hoped.
3/1: Usually the trees are at least starting to bloom by now. Nothing yet. Disappointing.
3/2: Two of my four roommates spend ten hours a day in their room, playing video games and watching viral youtube videos. Not sure if I hate or pity them. Probably both.
3/3: Sprained my knee at the gym today. Nobody says anything.
3./4: Left house at 9:00 AM. Roomates were asleep. Had class, worked out, ran errands. Came back at 2:00 PM. Roomates still asleep.
3/5: Guy next to me working out on the treadmill is the skinniest man I’ve ever seen. Cancer survivor, I think. Totally bald. Still runs longer then me.
3/6: Dead possum in the middle of the road. Guts splayed out like the spokes on a wheel. Big ford truck in front of me runs over it again.
3/7: Was at Costco today and saw they sold boxes of Condoms, 200 count. If I ever find the guy who needs to buy his condoms at Costco, I’m going to shake his hand and then punch him in the back of the head.
3/8: Cat woke me up by stepping on my face. Portent of a very bad day.
3/9: The wind today is making me uneasy.
3/10: When I was a kid, I couldn’t wait till I started shaving. God was I dumb.
3/11: Woke up with a hangover that made me puke. Can’t remember last night, it’s a blurry dream of pool and shitty drinks. Tell myself that I’ll never drink again, but I lie.
3/12: I’ve lost twenty pounds in eight weeks. I miss fast food.
Hey Guys. I've been posting when I can. So here's all my entries for each week.
ReplyDelete#1
Saturday- I feel a bit ill from last night.
Sunday- I can still smell bananas. He always smelled like bananas.
Monday- The grocery store rearranged again. I don't know where things are.
Tuesday- I don't know if I should write the note or not. Shelby says “No!”
Wednesday- Liesel was not an ordinary girl.
Thursday- Simplicity gets people in trouble.
Friday- Fire gets people in trouble.
#2
Saturday-I believe I lost my faith on the way to the Meridian Care for Pets last year. My dog was put down there, but soon after, a friend who worked there told me they freeze the dead animals so they don't smell up the vet area.
Sunday-A shoe lace clogs up the kitchen sink's drain. No kids live in the house.
Monday-Seven buttons are stacked on top of the drier. Mrs. Sunich is testing her assured policy that her new drier is "quiet without rumble" as the store owner promised.
Tuesday-She didn't know how to tell her daughter.
Wednesday-The mail hadn't come in weeks. She started to wonder where her husband had gone. He was supposed to be back a week ago. Had he played double jeopardy?
Thursday-An orange lollipop choked the baby. The doctor didn't know what to say.
Friday-Two students goof off. And then there was a huge crash.
#3
WEEK 7. Sorry I put these under different weeks guys...it's just I work until 11:30 on Friday's after class so I can't wait lol.
Saturday-There’s only three clouds I can see in the sky. And that obviously means God is really pissed at someone.
Sunday- My mother told me that I’d kill poor Igor if I kept sharing my hot chocolate with him. I argued that a little powdered cocoa wouldn’t hurt the strong fella. But I’m afraid it could have been the chocolate.
Monday- She often pulled her moods from different shelves like books; but the worst book she pulled was when I broke the mantle.
Tuesday- The AM was the time she made tea and looked down on the world from her wooden stool.
Wednesday- I’m familiar with veterinarian office schedules, and I’m familiar with the fact that usually a week in advance is fair enough warning to be scheduled into an appointment. It’s been three months and they still haven’t called me back about my bird. She died last month.
Thursday- His paws were heavy, but his body had turned to bones.
Friday-The smell of fresh oranges reminds me of the day my dad died. He never smelled like oranges, but if he was a fruit, that’s what I’d categorize him under. I don’t think I was old enough for him to peg me as a fruit yet…maybe he’d say I was an apple or cherry pie because he did always called me his “sweetie-pie.” And sweetie could be any fruit. Or maybe he thought of me as a potato? Yah, a potato makes more sense—sweet potato!
#4
Saturday-Eleven birds sit on a wire a few feet above the traffic light that an old woman cut me off from making when it was green. It’s been red for an eternity.
Sunday-Ten times my brother has called me frantic with messages to “call me ASAP.” I keep texting him saying “I’m in class,” but I’ve forgotten his phone’s face was crushed in the accident on the way to the grocery store.
Monday- Nine months we’ve been dating today. And he said “at least it’s not a year.” I don’t know why that’s funny.
Tuesday- Eight pairs of shoes I’ve pulled from my closet are all different sizes. My feet have felt crushed since birth. And I know what I’m doing when I buy a size 7 instead of size 9.
Wednesday- Seven drinks too many.
Thursday- Six midterms and only four classes to spread around. What’s wrong with that equation?
Friday- Five times I’ve emailed my Opa asking if he wants to see a movie after church on Sunday. But I haven’t answered any of his replies asking, “Would you like to go to church before the film?” I just keep forwarding the same email week after week’s passed. Sunday’s pass slowly.
#5
This is for week 5. February 6th.
Saturday-A business man with his tie too tight, making a red ring up under his neck from lack of circulation, steals a bagel from a University campus market.
Sunday-A dead bunny lies on your front porch. Its belly is scooped out like a melon. Its mother comes into the front yard at night. It’s her baby that died.
Monday-A telephone rings seven times before the answering machine gets to it. A little girl leaves a message. You don’t know a little girl. She’s crying.
Tuesday-A Jon Bon Jovi concert begins with a light show. After the introduction, the stage and audience goes black. A gunshot rings out in the darkness. The lights don’t come back on.
Wednesday-Michael Jackson’s called back to court; as a witness.
Thursday-A couple goes jogging every Sunday morning, and follows up their session by walking their two Pit-bulls.
Friday-A tree fell through a church’s roof while the members were still inside. It fell onto the Christmas scene. But baby Jesus was a doll anyway.
#6
Week 6: January 13th, at 10 AM.
Saturday—a friend is fired for stealing a flash drive from a school computer lab during their custodial runs. You turned them in, but have a pocketful of stolen drives.
Sunday—driving home, two hours into the four hour trip, you stop for gas. The gas attendant looks oddly familiar. You think about him until you get home.
Monday—you take up smoking.
Tuesday—you quit smoking.
Wednesday—there’s a man on the bus who refuses to give an old lady a seat. When you give him a rude look and give up yours, you notice his service dog sitting beside him on the ground, hidden by the seat. You try to smile and take back the look, but he’s blind.
Thursday—you have to decide whether or not to put your lifelong pet down. You decide against it, and she becomes immobile.
Friday—seven birds gossip outside your window. When you flip up your shades to see them, it’s only one bird making all that racquet. You think possibly birds too can be schizophrenic.
#7
Saturday: I feel heavy and haven’t eaten anything but Special K. I've realized Britney Spears is amazing.
Sunday: There were a few stars in the sky but I couldn't tell if they were satellites or not.
Monday: Both back tires slashed.
Tuesday: 19th century literature professor asked, "Who is Michael Jordan?"
Wednesday: Change of address form delayed financial aid award check by five weeks.
Thursday: Michael Scarn attempts a normal day.
Friday: New puppy finally looks at me again after I broke its leg with one of my back tires.
#8
Saturday- I cry because my boyfriend and I got drunk last night and got married. I’m crying because I’m so happy we finally did it. He isn’t.
Sunday- I make sure all my posts are up for all to see. I am the most anal person I know.
Monday-Bananas do not grow on vines. Even though someone said they did.
Tuesday- I’m not sure if writing is ever right. I’m just not sure.
Wednesday- I can’t tell anyone I have osteoporosis.
Thursday- I’m afraid my Opa is going to die soon, so I’m writing him a book to show him I am the great writer he always wanted me to be. He wants it buried with him in his casket. He says, “Whenever you finish schutzie, just slip it in. If I’m already in there, knock first.”
Friday-My Oma called today. Every time I see her name pop up, I get teary. I’m afraid it’s the “baby, Opa, well he…”
3/7-(mixed this up with the last post) Emmerson the Puppy is dogged (ha) by Reece the St. Bernard.
ReplyDelete3/8-A foreign couple annoy an omelette cooker by repeatedly demanding three fried eggs each and after being told that their request may only be obliged if the eggs are flipped and both sides are cooked they demand to have the eggs sunny side up. While the eggs are being cooked one or the other stands there, staring at the face and frantic hands of the cook, often yelling, "That's enough!! It's cooked enough!!" P.S- the cook was me and even now I harbor a strong desire to accidentally give them salmonella. Also (and I am cheating here) the following sunday I saw them sitting at the very same table, eating three fried eggs, each.
3/9-I realized today that all of the most interesting teachers I have had in the past taught English. In seventh grade a woman who used her belt as a bra would brings her hands to the center of her chest slowly while chanting, "focus on me".
3/10-I am not afraid of the dark. I am afraid of shapes in the dark.
3/11-When touching my fingers to the keys for my log I see "three dash eleven" and cannot help but think that Amber is the color of my energy.
3/12-I slept until six O'Clock PM after returning from work at ten. I must have been catching up.
3/13-A ref throws a basketball game
A man walks into a bar, he has a fantastic mustache.
ReplyDeleteJenny, a fine looking co-ed, feels that mustaches are the tops. On Thursdays she frequents bars, looking for the ultimate mustache.
Vince pours drinks behind the bar. He looks at the calender and catches the eyes of a mustachioed man. He forgets the date.
The man with the mustache can feel his luck about to change considerably.
Vince remembers that it's Wednesday.
A man walks into a bar, he has a fantastic mustache.
ReplyDeleteJenny, a sexy coed, thinks mustaches are the tops. She often frequents bars on Thursdays, determined to find herself a man with a mustache.
Vince pours drinks from behind the bar. He looks at the calender and catches the eye of the mustachioed man. He forgets the date.
The man with the fantastic mustache can feel his luck about to change considerably.
It is Wednesday.