1/24: I heard that in Mansfield, Ohio, someone keeps a herd of buffalo off I-71.
1/25: We run into this one former babysitter everywhere. At the movie theater, she's passing out popcorn.
1/26: Tape, it turns out, doesn't stick to brick.
1/27: There's some sort of firefighter training today. They all look at me as I pass like I'm eavesdropping.
1/28: I'm imagining that G's cough has taken on a life of its own. It's another resident in our house. It demands a lot of attention and wears everybody out.
1/29: Outside my window, deer startle at the sound of the jackhammer.
1/30: Kinds of weather I haven't yet written about: hail, avalanches, auroras, tropical storms, eclipses, Nor'Easters, heat bursts, tsunamis, volcano eruptions....
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1/24 - I have realized Australian accents are harder to understand than you might think.
ReplyDelete1/25 - When grocery shopping, it is crucial to make a list. If you don't, you will look down at your watch and see that you've been in the grocery store for almost two hours. After all that time spent in the store, when you get home you'll realize you forgot the one thing you meant to get. All because you didn't make a list.
1/26 - If you give a gang member your phone number in hopes to avoid the ill-fated "I don't really like you" confrontation he will call you. And then keep calling you. And keep calling you. And keep calling. Before you know it you have six missed calls, two voicemails and a lot of text messages. Whatever happened to taking the easy way out. Whatever happened to "If I don't answer he'll get the hint???"
1/27 - A young woman stood outside Miller Hall discussing how she wants to shave her head at least once in her lifetime.
1/28 - Couples who kiss in public are annoying.
1/29 - I'm amazed that at almost 22 years old my mother still calls me asks me what I want for my birthday. She's so cute.
1/30 - In a classroom with 75 people, it is obvious who sits where. The freshmen sit in the front cramming for the test. The seniors sit in the back trying to take a power nap.
There are about a fifty cords running back and forth underneath the computer desk and the guy on the phone thinks I can quickly explain what each one of their functions is and how they’re connected.
ReplyDeleteMy GPS system really gets on my nerves sometimes. It works fine, but that voice that is constantly telling me that it’s ‘recalculating’ when I go to the ATM and the gas station is annoying. They should make GPSs with a button to push when you are stopping somewhere.
Today I noticed that in some shady areas there are still little white pillows of snow scattered between the trees.
Duraflames do not seem to produce a fire as warm as real wood does, but they sure are a lot easier to light.
Today I asked a question about the Happy Meal toy for my daughter, and the girl behind the counter thought that I wanted extra toys. I tried to explain that I just had a question, but she kept shoving extra toys across the counter at me.
On the weather portion of the news today I saw a type of frost I have never seen before. Something about it makes it scary and beautiful at the same time, which is kind of an interesting combination. http://www.king5.com/membercontent/photos/photo.html?plckPhotoID=0efd45bb-59fc-434f-8b60-ee6de5376313&plckGalleryID=7d676e73-9dee-4cc6-b9cc-a34ebf1a4b45&omp=1
Two raccoons were stuck on the roof of the school. Children were throwing food at them but the raccoons did not seem to appreciate it.
1/24
ReplyDeleteI realized that I now like to have my brother's guinea pig bite me, it's sort of our little thing. I walk in, she squeals, I offer my fingertip, and she bites it.
1/25
I went to my first baby shower today. I had never touched a pregnant belly before, so I tried it, and it kicked instantly, so weird. Even the mother admitted it feels like an alien inside her. I'm scared...
1/26
A boy misses the bus at the first Birnam wood apartment stop, so he runs at a pace equal to the bus, pretty impressive stuff when you're just sitting, cruising along, and the guy is booking it as fast as he could. He seemed to think he was pretty awesome when he boarded the bus.
1/27
My parents finally decided on a name for their soon to receive Golden Retriever puppy, Bella, she named it after the character Bella in Twilight...sigh...
1/28
I mailed the utility check to my evil ex-roommates, the last and final step to be completely rid of them.
1/29
I really miss playing Wii bowling, and yes, I will be sore tomorrow.
1/30
When I walk to school, I often see a strange, small white dog watching me through a window, and today it was out. It looked like a fox running down the road, so I walked towards it, and much to my fear, it started to follow me to campus. I yelled at it to stay and luckily it knew its meaning, and didn't move a step further. It watched me walk away for nearly five minutes.
Saturday: The smell of toasted spices wafts through the air vents.
ReplyDeleteSunday: We played Vivaldi at their wedding the summer after graduation. Now, four years later, the bride proclaims she “doesn’t want to be an Anderson anymore and is pissed she still is.” There's one more composer nixed from our wedding repertoire.
Monday: 5 ways to say essentially: uh-sen-sha-lie, ee-sen-shly, ee-sent-shly, uh-sen-shully, uh-sun-sha-lee.
Tuesday: I kind of like having “one of those faces”—familiar to many on some unnamable level. Today a complete stranger smiled with his teeth as we passed on the street—“Hi! How’re you?!”
Wednesday: A sign tacked on the wall in the engineering building: “Please!!! Do not remove recycle-bin without doily.” Engineers, who knew they were so proper.
Thursday: Sfouf—a Lebanese dessert made of farina, sugar, tumeric and pinenuts. Kind of like a sweet cornbread. It’ll dye a napkin yellow-orange, but not your teeth.
Friday: My favorite line from Grimms’ Little Red Cap: “The wolf thought to himself, This tender young this is a juicy morsel.”
I can't help it, I drop truth bombs.
ReplyDeleteBuying a pack of cigarettes is healthy, buying a carton of cigarettes is thrifty. One can never be both.
"It's about Dante, I'm like I don't fucking care, I mean it's Dante."
She gave me a purple rosary from Europe. It was made in Taiwan, and looks as if Jesus might just slip off the cross; they don't make things like they used to.
Teachers are most liked, when they fall ill.
Ride of Valkyries will never have the same effect as it once did.
I wish I had an almanac from the future.
1. the most annoying people always show up at the end when you're about to close
ReplyDelete2. The janitor was friendly to the girl and she shuddered after he left, saying, "how creepy!"
3. To avoid the fundraising crew is a delicate process. Sometimes they ambush in pairs.
4. The volleyball teacher put the most experienced players together on a team in a beginning volleyball class
5. I forgive easily
6. The sun came out and I remember why I chose to go to school in Bellingham
7. Leslie Williams wrote a fantastic story about the South and really captured the feel of it, her detail was spot on
1/24: After New Year’s is over, summer should start. Honestly, who gives a fuck about February?
ReplyDelete1/25: Why does every fat white comedian die young? Aside from Drew Carrey, of course.
1/26: Do writers gravitate towards alcohol and drugs, or do alcohol and drugs gravitate towards writers? Why have so many burnt out?
1/27: I hate myself just a little bit more for being attracted to Britney Spears in the Womanizer music video. The hatred is furthered when I admit that it’s a catchy song.
1/28: I wish colleges would prepare you for the psychological and financial aspects of being a writer. Sure, craft is the most important, but it’s not the only thing. How the fuck do I deal with being in a rut? Or how about some advice on how to get published?
1/29: Six Tylenol PM, three shots of Jack Daniels, and half a bottle of Nyquil make for a very good night.
1/30: Someone should get Obama to turn the heat back on. It’s fucking freezing.
Saturday-Eleven birds sit on a wire a few feet above the traffic light that an old woman cut me off from making when it was green. It’s been red for an eternity.
ReplyDeleteSunday-Ten times my brother has called me frantic with messages to “call me ASAP.” I keep texting him saying “I’m in class,” but I’ve forgotten his phone’s face was crushed in the accident on the way to the grocery store.
Monday- Nine months we’ve been dating today. And he said “at least it’s not a year.” I don’t know why that’s funny.
Tuesday- Eight pairs of shoes I’ve pulled from my closet are all different sizes. My feet have felt crushed since birth. And I know what I’m doing when I buy a size 7 instead of size 9.
Wednesday- Seven drinks too many.
Thursday- Six midterms and only four classes to spread around. What’s wrong with that equation?
Friday- Five times I’ve emailed my Opa asking if he wants to see a movie after church on Sunday. But I haven’t answered any of his replies asking, “Would you like to go to church before the film?” I just keep forwarding the same email week after week’s passed. Sunday’s pass slowly.
Saturday: It isn't really even that cold unless the wind is blowing.
ReplyDeleteSunday: Playing guitar for the first time in a long time bruises the hell out of the tips of your fingers.
Monday: I think it would be weird if their was a serial killer whose tag was to behead pedestrians while riding by on a bike.
Tuesday: It's sad when the weather outside and pure laziness prevents me from even opening my apartment door for more than 36 hours.
Wednesday: It's strange how much you can tell about a person just from their CD and DVD collections.
Thursday: Too many people who play online computer games take them way too seriously.
Friday: Two friends talking about a tattoo a third friend got when he was thirteen with his father; both got marijuana leaves around their arms with the words "Legalize it" written over the top.
A woman walking out of Cosco left with three 34pack rolls of toilet paper and a bag of multi-colored sweet peppers.
ReplyDeleteA man in value village was trying to donate some clothes. The sorter in the back of the store looked in the bag and handed it back to the man. Apparently, there are some things that even value village wont take.
A few men who looked to be quite wasted seem to think its fun to play in the middle of N. State Street. The oncoming traffic wasn’t so delighted.
Puget Sound Energy wants to let everyone know their building in now under surveillance, so no robbing the pse anymore.
It’s raining heavily outside and there’s three people lined up at the sehome carwash.
There is a person dressed up as a swamp thing holding a sign promoting the sale of the gun store off Byron Ave.
The weather on Friday was strange, it started off as sunny then a deep fog rolled in and within an hour was sunny again only to turn shortly to dark windy gray skies with light rain. Once it became dark the clouds evaporated and it was a clear and starry night
1/24-A man urinates on a carpet...
ReplyDelete1/25-side effects listed on the side of a bottle of generic brand Pepto Bismol include "a temporary but harmless darkening of the stool and/or tongue during usage."
1/26-A man in red downtown tells me that he is sick and tired of the color green. "Because everybody needs to learn how to stop." He says. "It's the way to go." He does not find the irony.
1/27-A coworker (at the VC) says, about pies which we are preparing, "...Yeah, but these are frozen pies, so they are pretty sketch[y]." I glance at the twenty-something pies we have just cut and arranged for hundreds of unsuspecting students...
1/28-Chicken noodle soup with Rotini far surpasses the Wild Rice and Barley varieties in quality and taste.
1/29-an Austrian compares Austria and Germany to Canada and the U.S. "Like we are the Canadians, and Germany is the U.S." She explains. "We are the smaller neighbor that nobody pays attention to."
1/30-I arrive home to find Jane Fonda, Pat Benatar, and A tight suit-wearing rocker,pink variety. Alas, the rocker changes into parachute pants-far less amusing.
1/24/09 – Her teeth gleamed with nicotine and her nose had been powdered with cocaine.
ReplyDelete1/25/09 – The tape was still around each of the rod iron poles holding up the banister, except one.
1/26/09 – Her son had filled the electrical socket with peanut butter and margarine.
1/27/09 – The little boy gripped the shoulders of the security guard that naviagated the sea of Grateful Dead fans, searching the crowd for his parents.
1/28/09 – “I feel like my mom is always cleaning, but our house is never clean.”
1/29/09 – As she was collection the carts from the parking lot, she found a shopping list on the ground, “nail polish remover, vodka, bananas, potatoes, toilet paper and beer”.
1/30/09 – Her skin smelled of baby food and lemon Pledge.
Many people today write stories that people yesterday would consider obscene. Can you write a story that is opposite? One so happy, bright and good that it becomes the new obscene. Ohh. Tempting.
ReplyDeleteWhite LED Christmas lights are fun and cheery. They are so great I leave them up all year long!
Cure for "meh". 'Tis what me be needing.
The cold sucks at me, draining my jeans and neck, unable to get all the way in. my stomach glows with chocolate cake hastily eaten over the sink after two hours of sleep. morning exhaust chokes the parking lot and sunshine bites at the eyes. It is a refuge to walk fast, reaching long. Waiting for the bus as it comes closer down the street, sunshine melts into my jeans against the backs of my calves.
Four sets of dogs at the bus station today, totaling 6+ dogs (could have been more in that one bag). One was a cute little Pom, dancing along with its leash in its mouth.
In both Fiction and Nonfiction the teacher assigned Tobias Wolff, read the same part of his interview, and taught the scaffolding technique. Is there a difference between fiction and nonfiction anyway? One gets to fabricate, the other has real life events, beyond that its all just writing.
Thoughts don't count for much. They are the raw boards in a perpetual forest of neurons. The habit of putting thoughts into action, that is the crucial skill. Quality of output is secondary to learning the process.
1/24
ReplyDeleteTwo birds with orange stripes on their heads meet in the middle of a path. I approach. The birds each hop away to opposite sides of the path and look nonchalant.
~
I know a secret meeting when I see one.
1/25
This happens often: you are crossing the street at a clearly marked crosswalk. An oncoming driver accelerates (in clear violation of traffic laws) in order to make it past before you arrive at their side of the road. When they realize at the last second they can’t make it and you’re not stopping, they slam on their breaks, screeching ever so slightly to a halt.
~
This is hilarious, as is their look of annoyance when they realize they must, begrudgingly, yield the right-of-way. Crosswalk Chicken is, however, a dangerous sport.
1/26
Someone has encased my neighbor’s car in plastic wrap.
~
I wonder what the context for this is.
1/27
The “quiet area” signs are missing from my favorite library spots.
~
What will I angrily point to in order to quell this chatter?
1/28
The sky is pitch black except a crescent moon and Venus(?) nearby. It looks unreal.
1/29
It is very easy to loathe Kenneth Eng (an "author" and "journalist").
~
He probably wants you to.
1/30
Employees at the candy shop are amassing fan clubs.
~
I think the supervisor is jealous.
1/24- Flat rocks resembling crumpled paper. They look so simple but still hurt when they get in the way of your toe.
ReplyDelete1/25- Doodled hearts all over the page of someone who is ignoring love.
1/26- Rubber ducks were so overrated and yet they are still for sale in so many stores!
1/27- Willow tree branches hang with such grace they resemble the ballerina of nature.
1/28- There have got to be so many germs on community computer keys. Good thing I am trained as a Nurse's assistant, we always wash our hands.
1/29- A fat cheeked baby laughs at a seeing eye dog. Its laugh is contagious even for the dog that is supposed to be working.
1/30- Chipped nail polish on a writers hands. Seems so poetic but it really isn't.
1/24- I think the stoner stereotype comes from a specific kind of stoner; one who is only a stoner because it makes sitting around doing nothing a whole lot less boring.
ReplyDelete1/25- I've never seen someone study a Bible in a coffee shop before today.
1/26- Living by a daycare makes it exciting to step outside every single time you do it due to pirate screams, monster roars, etc.
1/27- The car comes so close to hitting him that even I'm pissed off, but he barely even looks at it and keeps walking. A monk-like pedestrian.
1/28- I find it odd that so many serious musicians seem so absolutely burned out on music.
1/29- I keep chewing my nails to get rid of the snags, but even while doing this I realize I'm creating more of a problem. Isn't that how compulsions always go?
1/30- Sore throats are odd in the way that they can come and go without you noticing the change. Suddenly you just realize, "Damn, my throat is sore" or "Hey, my throat's not sore any more!"
Um, I just want to say that you guys are fabulous.
ReplyDeleteThis is for week 5. February 6th.
ReplyDeleteSaturday-A business man with his tie too tight, making a red ring up under his neck from lack of circulation, steals a bagel from a University campus market.
Sunday-A dead bunny lies on your front porch. Its belly is scooped out like a melon. Its mother comes into the front yard at night. It’s her baby that died.
Monday-A telephone rings seven times before the answering machine gets to it. A little girl leaves a message. You don’t know a little girl. She’s crying.
Tuesday-A Jon Bon Jovi concert begins with a light show. After the introduction, the stage and audience goes black. A gunshot rings out in the darkness. The lights don’t come back on.
Wednesday-Michael Jackson’s called back to court; as a witness.
Thursday-A couple goes jogging every Sunday morning, and follows up their session by walking their two Pit-bulls.
Friday-A tree fell through a church’s roof while the members were still inside. It fell onto the Christmas scene. But baby Jesus was a doll anyway.
WEEK 5 (I couldn't find where to post)
ReplyDelete1/31/09 – The serpent nestled in her stomach, sliding through her lower intestines.
2/1/09 – She scoped up the little girl and ran frantically along the empty sidewalk, screaming for a taxi.
2/2/09 – The customer dumped her out onto the floor sending coins, shinny tubes of lipstick and tablets skipping and rolling over each other across the tiles.
2/3/09 – She counted the seconds from the moment when the tea cup was dropped over the balcony and the crunching smash announcing its meeting with the pavement.
2/4/09 – The huckleberries dripped from brittle branches dangling above the chimney.
2/5/09 – Blood dripped from her mouth after slicing open several taste buds in the attempt to seal an envelope.
2/6/09 – On the top of the hay stack hill, the little cottage titled slightly to the left, the windows curved and sealed in snow.
Week 5: (Was waiting for it to come up but will just put it here)
ReplyDelete1/31: Do gentlemen really go to gentlemen’s clubs?
2/1: I heard a girl on the bus say, in all seriousness, today “Watching movies is so much better then reading books. You don’t get bored watching movies.” I’m almost going to feel bad when civilization collapses in on itself.
2/2: February is such a shitty month, especially in this part of the country. It’s not cold enough to snow, but it’s still too cold. There’s no good holidays, at least if you’re single. It’s almost as bad as August.
2/3: I received a good bit of enlightment from a mediocre Eddy Murphy movie today. If we’re lucky, we’ll live 75 years; that’s 75 christmases, 75 Halloweens, 75 Autumns, 75 summers, etc etc etc. It’s really not much if you think about it.
2/4: My dad turned 69 today. He’s at least 10 years older then all my friend’s dads. He’s got an 18 year old granddaughter (my niece). It’s weird, when I think about it like that.
2/5: I would pay good money – well, whatever is in my checking account – to make Sarah Jessica Parker stop appearing in movies and television. Why are they making another sex and the city movie? Wasn’t one more then enough?
2/6: Is Chivalry dead? If I were to give up my bus seat to a woman, would I be looked at as a nice guy? Probably not, I’d be creepy or weird. Fifty years ago no one would have batted an eye.
A woman and her boyfriend are behind me in line at Haggens, buying doughnuts. Both are commenting on how Jessica Simpson has turned into such a heifer and they can’t believe she let herself go like that. I just find it funny that their buying food that leads to someone “letting their self go like that.”
ReplyDeleteThere has been a lot of dog shit on the sidewalks around Bellingham. Not just piles of pooh but streaks of pooh showing that way too many people have been stepping in this “shit” spreading even more in the sidewalks.
My roommate brought home this feather covered cat toy home for her kitten to play with. My cat, who thinks he is way to cool to ever want to play with toys, has formed an obsession over this thing. He drools and gums it till the feathers become a strings mass of purple and pink. It has to go into the dryer at least three times a day.
I witnessed at my friend’s house, a man playing guitar on the expert level of rockband but he doesn’t actually play guitar. To me there is something wrong with a person being an expert at videogame guitar and not knowing how to play the real thing.
I watched a dog try to catch his shadow by jumping up and down on it over and over again and biting at the ground.
There was this (I suspect) homeless man in Fred Meyer’s filling used grocery bags with food and hair styling products from the Natural Foods section. I later saw the man exit the grocery store without paying for the bags, the sensors went off and no one stopped him from leaving. I wonder how much he left with.
A woman asked me while walking on campus if I had “time for the environment.” I said no and kept on walking, but I had to applaud the woman for her deceptive guilt techniques for getting people to sign her petition.
Week 5
ReplyDeleteThis week’s theme: The Eavesdropper
Saturday 1/31: (Student) “In the late nineteenth and twentieth centuries, tigons were more common than ligers.”
Sunday 2/1: (Barista) “I’m sorry, we don’t sell mugs of hot water. I could get you a pot of water, but I’d have to charge you the tea price.”
Monday 2/2: (Dream-me) “Don’t worry, I’m your little subterranean friend!”
Tuesday 2/3: (Art teacher, heard by sleepy student) “His reputation was built on the pudding of great architects.”
Wednesday 2/4: (Interviewee) “Um, do I need to fill anything out?” He points to the interviewer’s papers. “No, these are just for me to take notes,” she says. He chuckles nervously, “I’m not very note-worthy.”
Thursday 2/5: (Passing cell phone chatter) “Ah ha ha ha! That’s SO funny! . . . She started crying?! . . . .Peed her pants? . . .”
Friday 2/6: (Dude) “I have a ’94 Civic that’s a $1,600 paper weight now. I rolled it. Five times. Down a hill.”
WEEK 5
ReplyDelete1/31
Roomba vs. Roomba is not a very exciting robot battle.
2/1
Library books are starting to pile up everywhere. More incoming than outgoing. Reaching critical mass.
2/2
A loquacious, elderly gentleman wants to sample many candies. Around his neck, he is wearing a gold chain and pendant bearing the All-Seeing-Eye and pyramid. Isn’t that a symbol of the Illuminati?
~
Is this man an Illuminato? If so, he’s not doing a very good job keeping it secret.
2/3
You can tell a lot about professors by their bookshelves.
2/4
Lots of people say "Haggens" (or "Haggen's" or whatever).
~
PSA follow-up: look at the sign and tell me what it says.
2/5
Sometimes all it takes is for someone to say "you can do it" and mean it.
2/6
The fictional observation count is steadily rising.
Week 5
ReplyDelete(I was waiting for a prompt, but just noticed that people were posting in week 4.)
1/31: When my daughter goes up to the counter at the antique store to buy a porcelain doll an elderly man asks if she’d like another one for free. I feel skeptical, suspecting that he has an ulterior motive of some sort, but he comes back with a beautiful doll dressed in Dutch clothing; she’s even wearing wooden klompen. I ask how much the doll is really and he again says it’s free, and then he hands it to my daughter who smiles gratefully. He smiles, too.
2/1: It’s fun to people-watch in book stores. I find that I assume a lot about people (but probably shouldn’t) by the books they’re looking at.
2/2: The aroma of basil growing on the windowsill fills my entire house.
2/3: The office made from an old mobile-home smells like incense residue. The Pakistani man sitting across the desk smiles kindly as he welcomes our visit. He offers us ginger tea from his recent visit to Thailand. The tea is too strong, but we drink it and he is happy to share it with us.
2/4: My daughter came home with a caterpillar today. About two inches long, with layers of shell-like skin, he looks more like a centipede to me, but she insists that he will be a yellow butterfly when spring comes. Now he’s living underneath a rhododendron in our front yard. His name is George.
2/5: In February, 55 degrees feels like a summer day, but in July it feels like winter.
2/6: I like the way rooftops steam when the sun comes up and warms the shingles.
WEEK 5:
ReplyDelete1/31- I have eaten japanese, mexican, chinese, and thai food today! That is a lot of cultures for 24 hours
2/1- Post-its always remind me of Romy and Michelle's High school reunion...haha
2/2- So many colors, is there anyone in the world whose favorite color is white, is white a color?
2/3- It is ironic how stars come out at night but they are anything but sleepy looking, they make you want to stay up and stare
2/4- The gym is a bigger meat market than the Royal
2/5- Grass is everything that the world depends on, and it is greener on my side
2/6- I miss black and white movies. SO do my grandparents
Week 6: January 13th, at 10 AM.
ReplyDeleteSaturday—a friend is fired for stealing a flash drive from a school computer lab during their custodial runs. You turned them in, but have a pocketful of stolen drives.
Sunday—driving home, two hours into the four hour trip, you stop for gas. The gas attendant looks oddly familiar. You think about him until you get home.
Monday—you take up smoking.
Tuesday—you quit smoking.
Wednesday—there’s a man on the bus who refuses to give an old lady a seat. When you give him a rude look and give up yours, you notice his service dog sitting beside him on the ground, hidden by the seat. You try to smile and take back the look, but he’s blind.
Thursday—you have to decide whether or not to put your lifelong pet down. You decide against it, and she becomes immobile.
Friday—seven birds gossip outside your window. When you flip up your shades to see them, it’s only one bird making all that racquet. You think possibly birds too can be schizophrenic.
--Jessica Crockett
I have had a hard time getting my 451 project posted all quarter. This is a test.
ReplyDeleteI save seeds every year and then go buy new ones anyway. Maybe I will throw the old ones on the ground in the woods.
ReplyDeleteShe is getting married, in a big fancy wedding, yet she and her soon to be husband are polyamorous. She is older than I am, but I feel aged and square.
Lucy built the cabin with her own hands when she was 65 years old, but they don’t believe me when I tell them. I didn’t believe it either, watching her do it myself.
It is the messy time of year, branches down and leaves and trash blown around and dead gray and brown stalks left from last year’s flowers and vegetables. It is the messy time of year here, and still so beautiful I could weep.